i'm fluent in javascript as well as klingon.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Alien Versus Predator Requiem is the new Aliens

It was pouring down, raining today; gray NC winter is setting in, dreadful. So to put me in a more chipper mood, I went to see AVP-R today! That's Alien Versus Predator Requiem for the uninitiated. What follows is a short form review in my signature 10 point list format. I had to add a few additional bullets this go 'round to accommodate all of my points. Also this list is a bit different in tone from my previous 10 bullet reviews in that it is largely snark and sarcasm free (yeah i know right!). I was also inspired to use the 'X is the new Y' meme (shout out to Roo) to demonstrate the coolest points and show the fanboy love (and/or fangrrl love, if that's the case. holla!) that is oozing out of this movie.

It was great and
I hope you enjoy the bullets.
  1. Female 'returning home' Army veteran helicopter pilot / kick-butt protagonist is the new female 'returning home' Company space ship pilot / kick-butt protagonist.
  2. Michelle Dessler (Reiko Aylesworth) is the new Ripley (Sigourney Weaver).
  3. Predator+Alien Hybrid is the new Bitch (Alien Queen).
  4. Our Army/Gov't is the new 'The Company' (fanboy spoiler alert: Yutani!).
  5. Small isolated Colorado town is the new small isolated outer-rim space colony.
  6. Spunky character development 'but they die tragically anyway' subplot teens are the new spunky character development 'but they die tragically anyway' subplot local denizens.
  7. Vaguely street smart/survivalist but good natured/redeemed ex-convicts are the new vaguely street smart survivalist but good natured/redeemed space-ex-convicts.
  8. Signature tactical AR-14 gunshot sound is the new signature M41A Pulse Rifle gunshot sound.
  9. Pregnant moms' bellies are the new alien eggs (dang, that is an icky spoiler too, sorry!).
  10. The 'why are you going in there' hospital based hive is the new 'why are you going in there' atmospheric processor based hive.
  11. Misty damp dank cramped creepy sewers are the new misty damp dank cramped creepy spaceship air shaft tunnels.
  12. Brash, naive 'in over his head' Sherriff is the new brash, naive 'in over his head' Lieutenant.
  13. Vet's estranged orphaned by war daughter is the new estranged orphaned by tragedy girl (my Newt).
  14. Bravado pumped, 'Never stood a chance' doomed National Guard Troops are the new bravado pumped, 'Never stood a chance' doomed Colonial Marines.
  15. Desperate Kelly 'taking charge at the helm' APC (Armored Personnel Carrier) chase sequence is the new desperate Ripley 'taking charge at the helm' APC chase (classic Aliens scene).
  16. Dallas is the new Hicks.
  17. The Predator is the new 'Ah-nuld' (i dunno, i had to give love to that big alien bad@$$ somewhere. and it kinda fits.)
  18. Ms. Yutani is the new Mr. Weyland/Bishop (Watch it and form/share your own opinions. Does our gov't privatize and become The Company? I'm just mothballing here...).
I liked this film so much. So much more than AVP, and possibly more than Alien³ (no i really enjoyed that one too, David Fincher! - hello!). I mean, I am a fan. Let me give you a taste for how much of an Alien fan I am: Alien is in my top 5 films of all time (Props to Ridley Scott, the master for that and Blade Runner). I read the comics following Aliens (where Newt grows up but those pesky nightmares continue), including the AVP series that spawned that film. That Aliens: The Computer Game on my old Commodore64 is still the creepiest thing I played in the dark as a kid (long long before Resident Evil claims to have invented the 'survival horror' video game genre. pssfh.). Heck, in college I once wrote a theme comparison English paper on Alien vs. Blade Runner; and I got a B+ if I remember correctly. I really need to dig that out. Now that would be a blog post (nerd alert!).

This sequel actually gives me hope for a decent AVP trilogy. And it's not really like I (or anyone except Fox) was hoping for something like that. A lot of the same musical cues, sound effects and score are used from previous films here, in Requiem. However, I enjoyed that and thought it clicked in all the right places. Many reviewers say the film is rehashed or unoriginal, but I just think they don't get it. The clicks, hissing, slithering, anxious dread, and silent terror are all part of the experience.

The 'it' is this. This film gets to that question: 'What if' Aliens finally reached and then started a nightmarish ruckus on Earth? And then 'What if' the Predators were running around hunting them? We'd all be in a serious pickle. Why don't you suck down your soy latte and ponder on that one? Too late. You have entered a dark place. Your bleeping radar is glowing bright blue. It is likely that you will be eaten by a grue-some alien sneaking up from behind in creepy silent slow-mo!! LOL.

BTW, this one guy sitting in front of me walked out after the blood started splurting out of an alien egg impregnated kid etc (yes there is splurting). He didn't return. This movie doesn't pull the punches. Go see AVP-R. For the kids. But seriously, leave them at home. Seriously. I saw this middle-aged father/tween son duo leaving the theater all giddy on sci-fi horror awesomeness and undoubtly too much soda and buttered popcorn. And it gave me pause. Disturbed for a second, then a tear came to my eye; when I realized how totally awesome that was. Maybe I can take my son to AVP-8 in 3D in like 6 years? Nah.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Maybe that greedy company will be represented by Paul Reiser in the 3rd AvP movie.