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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

10 observations later

so, as in previous installments where i review films in the horror and particularly, survival horror, genre, i will attempt to craft the best top 10 observations that illustrate the overarching themes and selected random minutiae in a silly yet hopefully entertaining fashion. this time, i was reunited with my 2 best cohorts in survival horror/zombie fandom, Agent Copper and Operator Orange, to watch 28 Weeks Later. ironically they both drive the same truck, best suited for hunting zombies and thusly dubbed the 'zombie hunter' by the head of Operation Orange. but i digress. w/o further adu, on with the list:

  1. zombies have great athletic prowess and can endure fantastically strenuous feats of long distance sprinting in the mad pursuit of fresh blood/brains/flesh. oh and zombies can swim too. great.
  2. safety glass, tempered, bullet-proof, shatterproof or not is no deterrent to the ferocious determination of said zombies in the mad pursuit... you get the idea. maybe it's the runner's high? maybe they use the running start as leverage?
  3. if you enter a dark place AND it's really quiet, chances are you are already zombie food.
  4. u.s. army operating under code red containment/extermination policy? tip: that red dot on your forehead is a sniper 'painting' you, not dripping blood like in the garden variety 'ooh i wonder what's in this creepy dark room & i think i'll go explore alone' kinds of zombie plot. with friends like these, you have a better chance trying to outrun the zombies.
  5. creepy eyes make you special, usually of the tragic destiny sort, unfortunately. see: underworld, resident evil, the crow, okay pretty much any zombie movie. but seriously, what's with all the creepy kids in horror movies?! stop it. seriously. we know they survive and everyone else dies from good intentions and/or misjudgement. seriously.
  6. the only thing worse than rampaging mobs of rage drunk zombies? rampaging mobs of zombies on fire. see #4. good plan. you should have maintained the quarantine, guys.
  7. if the streets aren't safe, the tube isn't a brilliant hiding spot or detour path. didn't i see some zombie hooligans hanging out down there earlier?
  8. cameras, guns, protocols, and secure glass buildings are all we as a society need to be secure and safe. right.
  9. surprises in quiet unsettling environments make me jump. (deep down, i subconsciously think zombies could be real) i jumped like 5 times.
  10. good zombies films never end with a good or finished ending. this is a good zombie film.

sidenote: ooh oooh, we saw a trailer for Resident Evil: Extinction. it looks awesome. awesomely bad. awesomely apocalyptic. awesomely Milla. awesome Umbrella conspiracy cheese. Richard and i can't wait. Copper? not so much. i will post the trailer as soon as i find it.


copper said...

very nice. #1 was my favorite, because it dealt in my favorite area of zombie lore -- the scientific aspects.

I am intrigued by zombies and want to understand them better. Maybe you can blog some hypotheses to answer these questions if you feel inspired.

1.) why do zombies crave human flesh?
is it something mystical or magical about the nature of flesh?
is it a desire to maim fueled by animalistic rage?
maybe they are jealous and enamored with humans. "I felt like destroying something beautiful."- Narrator, Fight Club.
or do they just love the taste of chicken but have ironically
only tried something that sorta tastes like it?

2.) just how intelligent are zombies? one moment they seem to have the minds of drunken baboons, but then they surprise you with their stealth and guile. They hunt in packs and have perfected the "swarm" principle, but otherwise seem to ignore each other. How do they know when to stop chewing on someone and let them become a zombie? (see question 1). Can they communicate ("braaains... braaaains") ?

3.) What is the anatomy of a zombie and how is it different than a human? how do you kill one? I've seen zombies go down from a seemingly non-lethal gunshot wound, but then others ignore a knife thru the skull.

4.) Where do zombies get the hydration required to constantly spew all that blood and slime? Surely all that doesn't come from drinking blood alone.

5.) Define the super powers of zombies. They can punch through walls and doors but not car windows. why? They seem to run extremely fast, but not quite fast enough to catch up with scared children and people with gunshot wounds in their legs.. Does each
one have unique powers or is it your standard bell curve kinda deal?

6.) I have more questions but getting too tired... that's enough for now


OperationOrange said...

Brilliant? Perhaps.

But, full of lies!

You only jumped 5 times???

I jumped more like 35 times. I'm still twitching a little.