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Sunday, January 15, 2006

a social commentary about contemporary mores

i phone up ksteve. we're locked and loaded. i don my finest mafia attire, since my goth ware is in the wash. he rolls up with a nice girl/friend named Jiggy. so we're at Club O2. cool club in the warehouse district downtown. cool lounge elements, red glowing dance floor, 2 bars. "the platforms with dancing poles are for ladies only." but it's ok, we were there to score free tickets and swag and perhaps shake that thing as it were. right off, we spotted the prerequisite goth grrrls. although they didn't appear to be all that forlorn. there was the happy goth chick with red synching waist corset and skinny belts and slightly less happy goth chick with collar, black corset and big chain covered pants. let's just say happy is a goth term for all that junk in the trunk. bubble. i thought they were working the event. they were there before us. and we had gotten there before 11 so i knew they were hardcore. so i go up to them and ask if they're giving out tickets. bad move. now i've gone on and offended the goth chicks. not really. they were kinda giggly. turns out we have to earn the tickets by answering trivia questions. always the worst annoying as heck way to win swag. usally pretty arbitrary. so we're drinking the Vamp & vodkas, because they were on special and we had to figure out what Vamp tasted like. let's just say it really tasted like straight vodka with red color to begin with and then more and more like citric acidic tonic water as the night wore on and we drank more of them. maybe Vampyre vodka or Vampyre wine is better? i read it's made with the finest virgins. we had to answer trivia w/ DJ 40oz. (nice.) it was dumb and loud and pointless. i've seen the original movie 3 times (bad) and i got 5 straight answers wrong (worse). then there's always that weird hanger-on guy that acts like he knows you and just won't stop talking to you. anyway, he gave me his ticket so that was cool. SNAP! we pose for a pic for carolinanightlife.com. now there is a pointless brilliant web business. genius! i finally won 2 more tickets through my 2 friends. and scored cool swag in the way of D-sized poster, and a baby tee. the club had 2 hired "party starters". or were they go-go dancers? ksteve thinks they're straight up hot hired hoochies. professionals. nothing to see here. anyway, we were wondering from when we walked in what would get the dancing started. now we know. there was 1 brunette with rough edge plaid skirt, black tube top, torn hole fishnets, and clear stripper heels and 1 blond with black halter top, white skirt with skull/crossbones on rear pockets, and knee high black leather boots. they were there to get it started (exhibit 1 & exhibit 2). needless to say, the drunk pretty boy college guy rico suaves were on them like white on rice. commense the shaking of thy @$$! and then all of a sudden there was break dancing?? there was the electric boogaloo hip black guy break dancer, complete with white net gloves. we're pretty sure he had to be hired too. then there was the 2 young preppies grindin' with 2 young latin hoochies bent over for 20 minutes straight. i cannot make this up. it was a little creepy. all under 21 kids seem to still smoke like crazy. all of the ~18 yrold skinny college girls with matching old navy "jeans/flip-flops/layered tees" uniforms enjoy bumpin' & grindin' with each other while their cigarette oxford/polo wearing buzz cut guys look on with approval. due to the noise and lack of desire to shake that @$$ (due to dimenishing strength of Vamp & Vodkas i suppose) and after they had played gold digger twice, we decided it was time to go. we tried going up the street to The Flying Saucer. super packed. it was like that Aquafina commercial accept with 100 beer taps. that is where all the cool cats go. good beer. good food. good waitresses in school girl outfits. but oh well, we were hungry. so the Hillsborough St. IHOP is alive and well. we couldn't even get a parking place within 3 blocks so we went to the one on Capital Blvd. mmmm, breakfast food. and weird slightly off eastern european waiter who forced us all to take a free to-go cup of sweet tea (even if we didn't order it) and told us more than once "see you tomorrow" and "see you today." it was an interesting night.

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